Bodacious Babes of 1985

1985 was a pretty damn good year. I turned 2, Ronald Reagan had his second inauguration as President of the United States, and Michael Dudikoff mass slaughtered some ninjas in Canon Films’ American Ninja. Those three things could possibly be related but I could also be trying to read into it too hard. If I remember correctly, though, my horoscope mentioned the possibility of doing something memorable for my 2nd birthday and there is nothing more memorable than watching a bunch of ninjas bite the dust while totally jamming to “I want to know what love is” by Foreigner. Did I watch action movies and listen to Foreigner when I was 2? Damn straight I did. All while wearing an American flag tank top and slamming down some chicken McNuggets. Back when they still made them with dark meat too! You youngin’s probably don’t even remember that stuff….those were the days.

The year 1985 did more than introduce me to Dudikoff and the hairstyle that I would eventually wear for the next ten years or so but it also introduced me to a handful of ladies who would steal my heart and cause my growing body to become excited in various ways. I’m talking about boners folks. So here are just a few of the rockin’ hot bods that had me singing Foreigner’s “Waiting for a girl like you” in the shower.

Judie Aronson: American Ninja

This one had to be obvious. I decided to do this list just as an excuse to Google more photos of Judie Aronson. She might just be my ‘one true love’.

Sharon Stone: King Solomon’s Mines

Pre-Basic Instinct Sharon still had that innocence to her and that was more attractive than any amount of nudity that she could show. Not really, though, bring on the skin!

Brigitte Nielson: Red Sonja

Try to forget the reality star monster that she would later become and think back to this ginger warrior princess that had the hair of a troll doll and the jawline of a young Christopher Reeve.

Rae Dawn Chong: Commando

Chong took aim and fired on my heart with her ethnically ambiguous look and frizzy hair that out Lisa’ed Lark Vorhees. Plus you know she’s got the hookup for that good kush, Amirite?!?

Kathleen Turner: The Jewel of the Nile

Kathleen Turner didn’t care that Michael Douglas was a poor man’s Indiana Jones, she was still all about him. They would pair up again a few years later before MD would turn to fellow 85’er Sharon Stone to get rid of his blue balls in 1992’s Basic Instinct.

Tanya Roberts: A View to a Kill

Roberts tried her best to keep Roger Moore’s smelly old guy hands off of her while she lit up the screen as the decently named Stacey Sutton. If you ask me she’s a prettier version of Jennifer Lawrence.

So that’s a short list of all the ladies who really got my heart racing. Who did I miss? You tell me so I can Google them later.

Don’t forget to buy Foreigner’s albums on Amazon.