Bullet Points: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn
Halloween season means Scary Good Action for BulletproofAction.com and if no one else is willing to give it to you then I damned sure will!
Horror movies seem to get the inevitable reboot more often than any other genre of film and it’s clear to me there are far more failures at this than successes. Let’s hope that this one breaks the mold.
Synopsis: Forced to travel with her boyfriend, Laine begins to experience premonitions associated with the urban myth of The Creeper. She believes that something supernatural has been summoned – and that she is at the center of it all.
- Same old story: The film opens very similar to the original movie. We get to see how The Creeper operates as he just drives recklessly around the backroads in hopes someone will see him disposing of a body instead a sewer drain. Amazingly, someone always spots him and then makes the horrible decision to investigate said drain. It’s an endless loop of dead morons, I guess.
- Bring on the millennials: Laine (Sydney Craven) and Chase (Imran Adams) are our two main characters. They are on something of a weekend trip where Chase plans to pop the big question to his secretly preggers girlfriend. It’s a big set up for us to learn later but it adds a touch more of a reason as to why The Creeper is after Laine and not some other chick. If opposites attract, then these two are the perfect couple. They don’t seem to agree on much at all. She’s a scientist. He’s a conspiracy freak who loves cosplay and horror stuff. She’s tough and can handle herself. He’s a big pussy who lets his lady drive him around. You can see where I started to have issues with the characters.
- One Hell of a date: Respect to Chase for thinking outside of the box but his idea for a proposal has to be one of the worst in history. Taking your lady out to some rundown hotel in the middle of nowhere isn’t something that any woman wants.
- They all want you dead: The Creeper comes around every 23 years and this time he has help. A few of the local townspeople are in on it and go about making this creepy bastard’s job a little easier. If you want to argue that they do it because it keeps them from having to worry about The Creeper killing them…I guess it makes a little sense. But, they never go anywhere with that and instead make the townsfolk out to be some sort of cult or something.
- Escape Room 2.0: Escape rooms are a bit overrated in my opinion, and this one plain sucks. It’s even more reason for me to continue carrying a sidearm everywhere I go and a multi-tool at the very least. How could a handful of adults not break a door or boarded up window to escape this death house? I’ll tell you how: millennials.
- The thrill of the hunt: The Creeper isn’t very good at killing people. This film is a reboot of sorts but it also pretends that the other films exist in some movie universe. What a stupid concept. I didn’t like it one bit and especially when the couple of Laine and Chase knowingly put themselves in the position to get killed. He was supposed to be the educated one on The Creeper and he didn’t know his killing cycle?
The Verdict: I wish I could say that I enjoyed Jeepers Creepers: Reborn but that would be a lie. In order for me to care about any of the potential survivors in a movie like this I need some sort of redeeming quality in them, and this might be one of the least likable casts I’ve seen in a horror movie in some time. Even Pumpkinhead had a couple of decent young people in it. This flick goes back and forth between them running up and down stairs to escape The Creeper while it just slowly hangs around the property waiting for them to fight back. I do understand that this film had some filming issues due to Covid but this was an absolute atrocious movie. Skip it and watch the original instead.
