Bullet Points: Hunter’s Blood (1986)
If you’ve ever spent time out in the woods or deep in a dark forest, then you’ll know the feeling of fear that it can send through your body. How you can be totally alone but at the same time still afraid of what might be around the next bend is a strange feeling. I personally was camping out in a State Park somewhere in Missouri when a guy just walked right up on my fire and almost got his ass shot full of holes. He didn’t have any ill will towards me but had seen my fire and was curious why I was so far off the beaten path. While that story didn’t end with me disposing of a body somewhere outside of Columbia, it did give me a greater appreciation for films that deal with exactly this type of feeling of anxiousness and fear.
Synopsis: Five “city boys” travel to the country to relax by doing some hunting, drinking Bud, and generally having good time. However, the local inbred backwoods psychos turn the hunters into the hunted, and they need all the ammo and wits they have to get out of the woods alive.
- A totally safe hunting trip: When you’re getting together with some old timers on a hunting trip you better have a few things packed up; a good rifle or shotgun, a fair amount of jerky at the standby, and a shitload of alcohol. When Dr. David Rand meets up with his father (Clu Gulager) and a few of their other old friends, they drive the 200 miles to one of the men’s property in the middle of nowhere.
- The locals: The city boys don’t find much southern hospitality when they stop for fuel and a case of brews. Papa Rand gets into a scuffle with the local bar owner and the men flee in their brand new Brnoco that is about to have a whole mess of scratches on it. They get into a Dukes of Hazzard-style chase and end up driving off into the middle of the forest. It’s clear that the boys are in for some bad times with the locals but they had no idea.
- Poachers and worse: Some pissed off bar patrons are the least of their problems when a bunch of inbred looking mf’ers walk out of the woods and up to the group. Papa Rand once again is having none of it and he’s willing to throw down at a moment’s notice. It’s also great that he ain’t no punk and he seems to always come out on top. They finally run off the poachers but it isn’t long until they’re back in force.
- On the run: The rest of the film becomes a race for time as the men attempt to walk their way out of a forest that they don’t know as well as their captors. Papa Rand takes one in the chest a couple of the others are forced to carry him on a litter for the 15 miles out. It’s not an ideal situation when you’re being chased by these types. That’s why Dr. David decides to stay behind and throw them off the scent.
- Meat monopoly: While I talked about the slim story and the stereotypes used as the villains, it seems that the poachers are taking deer and anything else they can and selling it to the local bar owner who also runs the meat plant. It doesn’t do much in terms of the story for the majority of the film but when David’s lady friend shows up at the bar, meat guy takes her straight to the poachers.
- Dr. Badass: Dr. David doesn’t go full-on John Rambo, but it’s clear that he’s smart and skilled enough to evade the dumbasses chasing him. A pair of game officers add some needed death to the events and give our group a real taste of the terror that awaits them if they don’t get out. A couple of recognizable faces like Billy Drago and Lee de Broux are among the most threatening but I have to say that the guys I feared the most seemed more interested in sexually assaulting the gang instead of killing them. Not my idea of fun in the woods.
The Verdict: Wilderness survival movies don’t get much better than Hunter’s Blood. The plot is thin and the characters get plenty of time to shine while the bad guys are just a bunch of stereotypes and campfire horror stories rolled into one. Plenty of gunfights and a fair amount of fisticuffs fly as the hunters try to make it out of the woods alive. It isn’t remembered like some of the others like Deliverance but that might be only because the lack of mega star power. Really enjoyed this one and a little birdie told me you just might be able to find a free copy on YouTube since it’s not available in physical form.
