Bullet Points: Sahara (1983)

If Alex Winter is to be trusted, Menahem Golan was telling people that he believed Brooke Shields would win an Academy Award for her performance in Sahara.

On the surface that statement is preposterous. After watching the movie that statement is even more preposterous, but it is proof that Menahem Golan wasn’t just a dreamer… he was a big dreamer… and that is one of the qualities I admire most about the man.

• The Motor City: Some might call Dale Gordon (Brooke Shields) a tomboy. They certainly would have in Detroit back in 1927 and that’s when when we first lay eyes on Dale, test driving her father’s new race car, the Gordon Packard! It’s an impressive run, breaking her previous record and gaining the interest of a potential investor in the process. But this investor wonders how good the Packard would run in less than perfect conditions… like in a race across the Sahara Desert!! If the Packard could win that race then it would be right up there with the Mercedes-Benz and Alfa Romeos of the world and solidify the future of R.J. Gordon’s company and family… unfortunately an accident while working out the kinks of the Packard’s transmission critically injures R.J. and it is his last wish that his daughter win the race in the Sahara for him.

• He-Man Woman Haters Club: There is one technicality, only men are permitted to race in The Sahara Trans-National… so Dale takes advantage of her gender-neutral name, puts on a hat and a fake mustache and heads to Morocco with her crew String (Cliff Potts) and Andy (Perry Lang, Men of War). Nobody questions Dale’s gender, even men who raced against her father in the past and claimed to know him so well like Von Glessing (Horst Buccholz, Aces: Iron Eagle III), who provided the comic relief for the movie. We find out that there is a long route and a short route and officials are trying to sway the racers from around the world from taking the short route since they will be driving right through the middle of a tribal war that has been brewing. Most of the racers heed that advice, but not Dale Gordon and it isn’t long before that she pays the consequences…

• The Dawn of the Dead: After stopping for the night, Dale and her crew wake up to find the bodies of dead gypsies nearby! Then they find themselves captured by Rasoul (John Rhys-Davies, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade), a high ranking member of one of the two warring tribes. Per their law, Dale is now the property of Rasoul and it isn’t long before he is forcing himself on her (unsettling if you are a Sallah fan)… But Dale does not abide by the laws of the desert, she fights back… ends up knocking over a lantern and setting Rasoul’s tent on fire, allowing her to run off into the desert to escape… albeit temporarily.

• Like Sands Through the Hourglass: In 1983, having a movie starring Brooke Shields (of The Blue Lagoon and Endless Love fame) and not including a romantic storyline would be akin to having a Chuck Norris movie where he doesn’t kick somebody’s ass… so it is no surprise when Rasoul’s nephew, Jaffar (Lambert Wilson) the leader of the tribe, becomes smitten with Dale Gordon. Despite his uncle’s rightful claim to Dale, Jaffar decides he wants her to be his bride! There is some will they or won’t they, but ultimately they do (if you know what I mean). And while falling in love is nice and all, Dale still has a race to win and Jaffar still has a war to win and they still aren’t on the same page. It isn’t until after Jaffar has to rescue Dale from a pit of big cats that he realizes if you love somebody, sometimes you have to set them free… free, free… set them free.

Sahara was not the typical Cannon movie that I am accustomed to. Being heavy on romance certainly gave Sahara a different vibe than a Death Wish 3 or an Invasion USA. To his credit Menahem Golan managed to work in enough action content with the war between the tribes and the big race that there was something for everyone… at least I am sure that was the intent, the box office said otherwise. Still as a Cannon loyalist, Sahara was worth watching (once).

Now how about you give these Bonus Bullet Points the once over?

• If You Ever: …wanted to see Brooke Shields blow up a car that had been turned into a tank, then Sahara is the movie for you.
• Favorite Quote: “She is a demon. A demon from a house of devils.” – Rasoul
• Music By: Say what you will about the quality of certain aspects of Sahara, you can’t argue with the choice to hire Ennio Morricone to compose the music for the film.
• Award Winning: Sahara did not earn Brooke Shields an Academy Award, however she became the first woman in the history of the Razzies to win the Worst Supporting Actor for her scenes where she was dressed as a man with a mustache.